with myself and my life. i have spent so much time looking for what i don't have that i don't remember the last time i enjoyed the things i do have ... here i am not referring to tangible but the intangible gifts of life.
i have been thankful for a lot of "things" in my life ... but sometimes life drives you like an obedient driver to a high cliff and then makes you sit down and cajoles you into taking notice in order to make peace with ... yourself.
and of course the primary reason i have evaded this peace until now is perhaps the fear that its presense will create an abyss of conflict and for some reason i believe, or situations in life have led me to believe that conflict is the root cause of the 'flow of life'.
and i just read these very, very wise words that i know will stay with me for a while ...
"How do we reconcile this apparent paradox? We live at a time when we are being called to wake-up and address our human plight, so that we may remember that we are infact ,deeply at peace within. When we realize this, our peace affects positively all that is around us, and outer peace begins to manifest. So it is, that 'inner ecology must precede outer ecology'. ~ashiyana~
i want to ... i need to unravel this. i need to understand, to find the peace within me. or am i just saying this right now and actually don't mean to remember it after a while. only time will tell.
right now - a cello piece is tugging at my heart and i am grateful that i can hear and feel it ...