bored & moving

someone recently sold tumblr to me, not literally, of course. it just seems cleaner & more suited now. and i need a change. i don't know why. sometimes things don't need to make sense. so moving here (http://songofsacredeastwind.tumblr.com/) for a bit... lets see if i last. 



el natural

When I miss you (wilderness)
I drive off without my shoes
With one song on repeat
And each time the song ends
I forget to breathe


So full of love
Brightly lit and perfumed inside
This constant rush
I'm afraid
If i was really with you (green meadow)
I'd explode


the day the wind sings to me

my body will rise into the sky
break into smithereens
of silver & ash
and softly fall
each part 

of this thing called 'earth'



I without You

I scream
to forget
I learn
it doesn't help
It only makes
your voice
grow louder
in my head
in my heart
in my being

I breathe
I try hard
even to smile
it all seems convoluted
estranged I stand
on the edge of a long bridge
it leads nowhere
but to the deep sea
and i can't jump
into it
you're not there

I wonder
how I could
be so blind
so closed
so lost
as to not see
that you were too
amidst a crowd
amidst fanfare
with a fake smile
fake familiarity
nothing was real

I go
deep into
the dark crevices
inside you & me
and look for
we never had
you never wanted
or needed
and I did
I imagined it
but wanted it
I did

I lose
myself again
I find
the metallic taste
in me
in my mouth
in my being
in everything
around me
bereft of you
your words
your sense
your being
your familiarity




You are my last love song
Beyond this I don't know what lies
Too scared to finish, afraid to try
Think I'm going to end this here
And let you fly

Putting my heart in a shoebox
That'll keep it safe from all the ache
You might look down upon this
You might try and talk me out
I don't care

I don't want to dance no more
Dancing just makes you end up falling
Fallen I have, this time too
But I will rise, never to fall again
Its too late



Beautiful Dawn

You're the most stunning thing I've seen
You're the most wonderful feeling I've felt
You've changed me around
I'm a better me
You've turned my life
Into a summer day
And I am happy
And grateful
For your gracious presence
Your love

Yet on those rare days
I will need to leave your side
I will need to burn my own pyre
And mourn the loss of something
I'd cherished but not protected well
I didn't lose it really
But in a way I did too
And so I will mourn
And there's nothing you could do
to change that or bring it back
or make it afresh or create anew
Its something you cannot do
No one can

But trust me, my love
I will mourn on that one night
And that one night only
And once I'm done
I will return
To no one but you
I will rise from my own ashes
And start afresh
Living the happiest life
With you

Before you love me so
You must, must know
That I am a Phoenix of sorts
Someone with a dreary, dark past
And if you can
Then would you
Would you please
Take me the way I am