in my sky, in my sky

you started first
so, you were the one to finish first
the burn in your eyes
spontaneous combustion -- tearjerker
i was looking but i didn't see
mine were full of snow

i saw you bloat, float into the night
like a blimp, my frog in the sky
and then the morning sun rose

people owned sharp objects
they were prepared
but i didn't want it, i didn't care
you looked prettier in the sky
than when you stood next to me
said 'i'm ok'

you slipped so fast
from a sloppy flyer to someone who knew
there, quite simply, to a man you grew
and me, i stood aground
waiting for the accidental notes to dissipate
waiting for the bleeding fingers to sew new key notes
into another beating fist

now, i have fish in my sky
they float unperturbed, keep a look out
and i, put colour on canvas
to drive them away
from my
blackened heart

someday, not far from now
i will keep another frog, feed it to grow
this time i will do it differently
but that sounds like the same promise i made last time.



you and me

i can be sneaky when i want to be,
go into the hidden crevices to find
what you have been doing with yourself
who you've been seeing and talking to
and, even though i know it so
that you don't love me no more
i can't help but feel envious of the girl
you seem to so openly be crushing on

its been all of ten days since the split
you seem on your way out from recovery too
while i'm still stuck here in pre-op
moaning and feeling handicapped
in my wheelchair where you left me
wounded, bruised, beyond repair

that's what everyone always says
when they break from someone, something
you'll be fine too, you will
your life will go on and
you will wake up, and face the sunrise

i agree
and soon, i will

but for now
can I just walk the street that i've walked since birth
as if i've never been there before
can i shut out everyone and everything
and not be judged and thought of as weak
can i please imagine that it'd be easier
to have been hit by a car coming from behind me
and my blood splattered all across its wind-shield
than to have had my heart broken by you,
you who loved me so,
who's life i was
who was so lucky to have found someone like me
who was a better man because of me.