you and me

i can be sneaky when i want to be,
go into the hidden crevices to find
what you have been doing with yourself
who you've been seeing and talking to
and, even though i know it so
that you don't love me no more
i can't help but feel envious of the girl
you seem to so openly be crushing on

its been all of ten days since the split
you seem on your way out from recovery too
while i'm still stuck here in pre-op
moaning and feeling handicapped
in my wheelchair where you left me
wounded, bruised, beyond repair

that's what everyone always says
when they break from someone, something
you'll be fine too, you will
your life will go on and
you will wake up, and face the sunrise

i agree
and soon, i will

but for now
can I just walk the street that i've walked since birth
as if i've never been there before
can i shut out everyone and everything
and not be judged and thought of as weak
can i please imagine that it'd be easier
to have been hit by a car coming from behind me
and my blood splattered all across its wind-shield
than to have had my heart broken by you,
you who loved me so,
who's life i was
who was so lucky to have found someone like me
who was a better man because of me.

you and me

the eye

i saw my grandmother one day
she's been dead some 20 years
so her body was rotting
but her eyes were intact
i was in a train that passed by her
with a boy i'd only just met
guess she remembered me still
even though she was dead and everything
so her eye popped out of its socket
it was a very sunny winter day
the eye moved fast
and caught up with the train
it boarded the same way I had
and it passed by me
like it was a complete stranger
then it came back
and passed by once again
i think it was watery this time

it de-boarded the train where I did
it walked along me out of the station
as we looked for a taxi
it kept a watch on my luggage
as I entered the taxi, it entered too

the taxi moved up to the hills
and the boy held my hand
for the very first time
he kissed it too
the eye looked away
gazing into the distance
it looked at the valley
we'd oft frequented
when i was a child
and my grandmother was alive
the boy let go of my hand
and the eye looked at me
it seemed to want to say something
something i couldn't understand
how could i?
i'd only known her/ it as a child
i didn't know how to read it
if only it could speak
speak my language

when we entered our room
the eye entered too
how sneaky it was

the boy closed the blinds
and began to kiss me
the eye watered and left

after we were done
the boy and i
i looked for the eye, frantically
the boy looked worried
i said i'd lost something, important
but wouldn't let him search with me

i never saw the eye again
ever.

the eye

The Sun

It took exceptionally long to appear today
but when it finally did, it was strong and mighty
it seemed to say 'no one dare flout my will today'

I lay there in the open
waiting
as the wind played gently with my open hair
I lay there
for what seemed like an eternity
and when it appeared, it found me, immediately

It shone on me with all its might
It read my heart
that today, I'll let the sun think that my body and soul are its canvases

It began slowly
to devour me
and when the crescendo built
it burnt its way through to my heart
and something got released
something beautiful
something more brightly coloured than the deepest secrets of the sea

This thing - beautiful - it began to flow
from my heart into the sky
my sun's sky
there it flew without a care
the sun beaming, the wind dancing in its wake
then it looked down
at me, where I lay
and all around chimes began to play.

The Sun

What is this?

This continuum of thoughts, of you, of you and me
The lack of equilibrium, the lack of sanity
Unsettled, unnerved by every little abandonment
Frenzied by thought of a look, of a touch

Explain this enchantment to me
Tell me how a stranger it has been
Fear, my best friend with benefits
Tells me to shake it off, to not believe

And all this because they asked me about writing
I talked of places it takes me, places beautiful
And somewhere amidst those places deep within
I chanced upon a sapling growing, of you, of you and me

Now that I have it, I know where it dwells
What do I do with it, what do I call it?
You seem to have answers to so many things,
that I can't help but look to you to help give it a name…

What is this?

This Time

Each time I say 'this time'
But this time it'll truly be
No matter it does last or not
I will cherish it, for eternity

This time is like Summer Rain
For an ageing and weary me
But who can remain unaffected
By the ever enchanting Summer Rain

This time, I'm giving in
Uncareful, unanything
I'm speaking up, going under your skin
I'm pushing myself or are you pushing me?

I do not know, nor I care
I just know that I mustn't let go
I'll hold on, I'll understand
I'll make amends, take and keep this chance

This time I will dance
Under the influence of you and me
This time, I will write on blank paper
Like never before, once again

This Time